Breath Prayers and Anxiety

Just about anyone who has reflected on it knows that they only have a small amount of control over their thoughts. They seem to wash over and past us like a river, and we more or less unconsciously latch on to one or the other as an object of focus. This is often the case even when you are actively trying to think about something else: your mind wanders away to another topic, and then when you notice you bring it back, and then it wanders away again, on and on. So there’s a real sense in which your own mind is wild and untamed and not listening to your own will.

Many years ago I read through Richard Foster's book “Prayer” with my brother. He told me much later that the only thing he remembered was the chapter on breath prayers - and, as a matter of fact that is also the only thing that I remember. A breath prayer is a way of focussing your attention on a short phrase or sentence, meditating deeply on it in order to internalize a particular point - to move it from something you know in your head to something you feel in your chest. The most famous of these is the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”, but just about any verse of scripture that speaks to you will do. Mine lately have been “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) and “I am at rest in God alone, my salvation comes from him” (Psalm 62:1).

Maybe you can tell from my two examples above that I’m trying to capture a sense of quiet and calm in my spirit that isn’t there. The mind is like a person in a small boat on the open sea of the emotions, and anxiety is like a storm. Or, anxiety is a response to the storm, gripping the boat with white-knuckle intensity in a search for stability and safety that can’t be found (“Save me O God, for the waters have risen up to my neck”). Meditating on a breath prayer is a way to invite God to speak “peace, be still” over the storm.

(as an aside: the storm seems to be located in the stomach area. In many cultures the seat of the emotions is the gut rather than the heart for this reason, and I think it is why so many people eat to try to feel better. It can be very illuminating to start asking yourself where you feel certain emotions, they are quite localized in your body. This is a motivating observation for the spiritual disciplines, but that would take us too far afield.)

Most people report that their mind wanders when they pray so that it is very difficult to pray for any extended period - more than just a few minutes. This is especially true in the midst of a storm. Focussing on a short memorized phrase removes most of the mental burden and makes it easier to both maintain focus and regain it when you lose it. The idea behind a breath prayer is to repeat it to yourself, again and again and again. Stressing each word in turn provides a focus for the repetition: “I am at rest in God alone”, “I am at rest in God alone” “I am at rest in God alone”, etc.

Because your mind and body are interconnected, it’s also important to slow and deepen your breathing while you do this. Part of what you’re trying to accomplish is bring about a physiological change in your body, and slow deep breathing will facilitate that.

Whenever you find your mind wandering, bring it back. I find it helpful to be active while you are doing this - go for a walk, do the dishes, etc. It can be done along with any kind of manual labor and, according to The Way of A Pilgrim, you can even internalize it to such a degree that it stays with you even in mental labor.

By the way, the concept of breath prayers has a much wider application than I’m giving here. A much more authoritative exploration rooted in the monastic tradition can be found in The Way of a Pilgrim, which introduced this concept to me before Eugene Peterson’s book.

I remember once, before a very stressful meeting, Emily heard me singing “It is well with my soul” softly to myself. And she smiled at me and said “no it’s not, you’re a mess”. Which was true enough, my gut was a storm of distress. Intentionally trying to cultivate a peace in your spirit isn’t magic, it doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you feel totally normal. But you can train yourself to feel a sense of stability that sits on top of the storm and isn’t perturbed by it, as you hear Jesus speak: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”